Monday, February 25, 2013

Oscar Break-Down

I stayed up way past my bedtime last night watching the Oscars.  I had a grand ole time texting commentary with my girl, Catherine, for 4 hours.  It was like we watched it together...sort of.  I got pretty sleepy in the end and was wishing they would wrap it up before I turned into a pumpkin.

I can be a bit dramatic at times (I know, hard to believe), but I truly enjoyed this year's Oscars more than any other year.  Seth MacFarlane played a big part in my enjoyment.  Looks like I have a new crush.  I'm a sucker for a funny guy!  He has a wonderful singing voice too.  If you don't know much about him, read about all his street creds here.  That is one, talented, Peter Brady look-alike!  My favorite funnies were the Chris Brown/Rihanna joke, his acknowledgment of Ben's snub by The Academy, and  "The Sound of Music" trick.  What parts made you chuckle?

I crashed and burned with my Ballot picks.  Good thing I wasn't betting on them in Vegas!  I scored 41%.  Yikes.  That's a solid fail.  I'm so excited for my man, Ben, though I picked Les Mis as the best film win.  He actually cried during his acceptance speech.  The sweet thanks he gave to Jennifer Garner made me weepy.  Don't you think it was the sweetest?

As a whole, I was very impressed with the fashion this year.  Most everyone looked incredible.  Can you imagine seeing these stars all glammed up at the Oscars?  The camera adds 10 lbs and 10 yrs.  I just can't fathom how amazing everyone would look in person....

Except for these folks:

Salma Hayek - This dress did nothing for her and she looks like she's covering up a bad hair day.  A tiara, really?

George Clooney - The standard 2013 Oscar's scruff aged him so much.  Shave please, sir!  You are usually so much more handsome.  

Kristen Stewart, Renee Zellweger, Quinten Tarantino - I do believe they were all "pre-partying" together.  They were all a bit "off" and looked like they had just woken up from a long nap.  Renee could barely open her eyes and I didn't even recognize her during her first interview during the red carpet segment.  K Stew was even more unlikable than usual.  Tarantino is just plain weird.  You know what I mean.

These were my Honorable Mentions:

Channing Tatum - Did you notice those shoes?!

Bradley Cooper - He obviously got the scruff+slicked back hair memo.  It really worked on him.  Really worked.  He's no dummy, he knows how he looks.  He even brought his mom as his date.  Swoon.

Jamie Foxx - He's looking dapper in all black.  Did you notice his daughter?  She's 19.  I thought it was his gorgeous date, at first.  He best lock her up and hide the key!

Jane Fonda - Where in tarnation is girlfriend's fountain of youth?  Good gracious!

Amy Adams - She looks like a graceful, gray bird.  The dress is lovely, the color is so-so.

Jessica Chastain - This red-headed beauty looks fantastic in gold!  Bravo!

Anne Hathaway - Bless her heart.  Everyone is giving her such a hard time about her pale pink Prada gown.  I think she looks just fine.  Yes her boobies look a bit pointy, but I swear it's just the way the fabric is sewn.  She looks beautiful and was so gracious and humble when she won, which was well-deserved.  We still love you Anne!

Three-Way Tie: (Hey, if The Academy can award a tie for Sound Editing, I can award one for best dressed.)
Halle Berry - I thought her dress was a real stunner!  So unique!

Sandra Bullock - She looked classic and understated.  That hair.

Charlize Theron - Three words: sleek, simple, elegant.  Who knew she could dance?  Can she sing too...triple threat?!

All photos from taken from, and

p.s.  Why do I drink Baby Mama Juice?  Well, I didn't choose a very good drinking game for the Oscars, did I?  I only counted four speech cut-offs last night (you remember, when they played the shark music and panned away from the winner to the audience).  I had to compensate with a sip every time they showed Tommy Lee Jones in the audience.  That was regular sipping!


  1. Oh, I've been waiting for this! Jamie Foxx's daughter is a babe. Jane Fonda, what the heck. She looks younger than I do. You make a good call with Anne...all of this is so superficial of us, judging away, and here she is being a good person, triangle tatas and all. Humbling.

  2. haha I loved this especially since I missed part of the Oscars. Um Selma looks horrible- WTF! I love Charlize Theron major girl crush!

  3. I only watched part of the Oscars and it sounds like I missed some of the best parts!!! Channing and Charlize??? I'm going to have to you tube that shiz (c; And I'm always a sucker for a sentimental acceptance speech, so I'm going to have to look up the Bennifer moment, too (c:


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