Tuesday, August 13, 2013

How To Talk Like Jesse Pinkman, Yo

I have a confession.

I'm wholly, unhealthily, crazily addicted to Breaking Bad.

We are up to our eyeballs with TV shows, but decided to give Breaking Bad a chance because we heard so many glowing reviews.

We were hooked after 1 episode as fast as Jesse and Jane were hooked on heroin.

We're halfway into Season 3 and at the pace we're watching we may be done in time to see the Series Finale live!

It's so bad, I've adopted Jesse-speak into my language.

Yo, if you're as addicted as I am, use these mad tips to pay homage to your favorite bro, b*tch:

1.  Start sentences with "yo" and/or end sentences with "b*tch."

2.  Refer to money as "cheddar," "benjis," "green," or "stacks."

3.  Add "and sh*t" to give nouns more bang for their buck.

4.  Use positive adjectives such as "mad," "fat," and "cherry." 

5.  Drop the "g" in all "ing" verbs.  

Here are some examples in context:  

"Yo, yo, yo 3-to-the-3-to the-6-to-the-9.  Representin' the ABQ.  What up, Biatch? Leave it at the tone!" - Jesse Pinkman's Voicemail

"Hey man, I'm slingin' mad volume and fat stackin' benjis, you know what I'm sayin'?  I can't be all about, like, spelling and sh*t!" - Skinny Pete

"Yo, I been out there all night slingin' crystal.  You think it's cake movin' a pound of meth one teenth at a time?" - Jesse Pinkman

"Gonna make some mad cheddar, yo.  Cheddar, Mr. White.  Fat stacks.  Dead presidents.  Cash money.  We're gonna own this city." - Jesse Pinkman

Check out these awesome Breaking Bad products.  I may need to add them to my Birthday Wish List.

Bathing Bad Bath Salts

Los Pollos Hermanos Seasoning
Respect the Chemistry Mug

Breaking Bad Embroidered Koozie
Heisenberg T-Shirt
Breaking Bad Party Customizable Food Tags
So, to sum it all up, if you're not already watching Breaking Bad, hurry up, yo!  You will get mad addicted and sh*t.  

p.s.  Why do I drink Baby Mama Juice?  Because we've been staying up way past our bedtimes watching this stinking show.  We watch 3 episodes almost every single night.  I told you you I was addicted....


  1. My husband watches Breaking Bad and loves it but I never started it with him! I wish I had now after hearing everyone talk about how great it is. Even though I don't watch the show that lingo you wrote about is hilarious!

  2. I am so behind on the breaking bad train. Next rainy day I'm going to watch an episode!

  3. Poor Jesse, he is so constrained by cable television censoring his language. I remember in one episode around season 3 or 4 he used called someone an "A$$hole" instead of a "B1tch" and I got really excited about the new addition to his vocabulary. :-)

  4. This is so funny. My grandparents love the show but I've never seen it. Cheddar?? That is cracking me up!

  5. I was trying to get my mom to watch this show! I am also hooked! I love the breaking bad items, I have been watching on Netflix trying to catch up to the new season.

  6. OMG I love this post! We love Br Ba...just watched it on Netflix last night, I think we're on Season 4...it's a crazy-good show and we're obsessed.

  7. We are hooked over here too girl!! We watch two a night..it is soooo good!!

  8. Favorite. Show. Ever. Seriously. And I can't even talk about my crush on Jesse Pinkman/Aaron Paul. I was depressed for days on end when Aaron got married. And Walter White is probably the most badass character ever created for any show.

  9. I still refuse to watch! I do not need anymore tv addictions! Xo

  10. Ok I do not watch that show but maybe I should!!

  11. I am addicted too, its so good and I have a slight (ok major) crush on Jessie. I can't wait to see how this season ends!


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