In the wake of my 37th birthday, I've realized that I'm not the cool young thing I imagine myself to still be.
Aside from the fact that I'm losing my vision, hearing, and ability to stay up past 10pm, the following things make me feel like a grandma:
1. I had no idea what "YOLO" means. I know what Froyo is. Does it have something to do with yogurt?
This is what urbandictionary.com has to say about it: "Abbreviation for You Only Live Once. The dumba**'s excuse for something stupid that they did. Also, one of the most annoying abbreviations ever...."
Now I know exactly what to say when I polish off an entire bag of Twizzler Bites in one sitting... YOLO!
2. I thought "twerking" had something to do with "tweeting." Wrong again grandma.
"Twerking" is (according to Wikipedia) "a dance move that involves a person shaking the hips in an up-and-down bouncing motion, causing the dancer to shake, wobble, and jiggle."
Evidently, that's what Miley was doing Sunday night. Even Velma knows about it. Where have I been?
Here they both are used in a sentence (for educational purposes, of course): I'm guessing the former Miss Montana was thinking "YOLO" while she was "twerking" all up in Mr. Thicke's business.
What makes you feel older than Macklemore's grandma's coat?
p.s. Why do I drink Baby Mama Juice? Because I'm buried under an avalanche of stress about my sweet Baby Girl. I'm just trying to figure out the best course of action to take for her. I'm having a hard time concentrating on anything else at the moment.... A little bit of stupid humor always helps, right?