Monday, January 20, 2014

My Thoughts On Facebook

I have a love / hate relationship with Facebook.

In my opinion, Facebook is a very impersonal social network where people have the ability to be nosy and have a glance at other people's lives.  I rarely post anything on my personal page any more.  Most of my 300 + Facebook acquaintances don't really care what's going on in my life and I don't feel the need to share everything.  My true friends and family know what's happening with me because we have actual communication, in person and over the phone.  At least that's what I hope for....

When I first joined Facebook, years and years ago, I was excited about the possibility of reconnecting with long lost friends.

I actually did connect with two of my childhood best friends who I had lost touch with through the years.  It was a wonderful feeling and I'm grateful for the opportunity to have those people back in my life.  

However, Facebook has caused more pain than gain in my life.

When I left my job in 2011 to become a stay-at-home mom, I immediately felt lonely and isolated.  I was in the working world for so long and my previous career was extremely social.  There are tons of stay-at-home moms in my neighborhood, but I didn't know most of them very well because I worked full time and had just recently become a mom. So, I decided to set up a Facebook page for the moms in my neighborhood to connect.  I tried to coordinate morning walks and play dates to have adult contact and give Baby Girl some quality outside time.  A handful of people joined and participated in the beginning, but I started to feel like a big fat loser sitting at the park, waiting for people to show up, striking out most of the time.  Moms hang out at the park and take walks together all of the time in my neighborhood, just not with me.  It's hard not to take that personally.  I know it's not Facebook's fault that people in my neighborhood don't want to spend time with me, but it did shed light on the situation. In this situation, I would rather be blissfully ignorant.

Lately, it seems that Facebook has taken the place of communicating with some of my close friends.  Imagine hearing about one of your best friend's engagement on Facebook of all places. That one hit me hard.  I cried for days.  Is that even a friendship anymore?  

Another friend ended up in the hospital with pregnancy complications and then had her baby.  How do I know?  Why Facebook, of course.  

Did I announce my engagement and the birth of my baby on Facebook? Absolutely, we all do.  But, I made sure to reach out to my friends and family first.  That's news only random acquaintances should hear over social media.  If you have time to post a Facebook status update, you have time to send a text or place a call to a friend.

Is Facebook replacing real relationships?  Is everyone turning to social media as their primary form of communication?  Is it too much to ask for a phone call or text from my friends every now and then?  Am I just being an old fuddy duddy and need to accept the fact that times have changed? 

Anyways, sorry for the Debby Downer Facebook rant, but I just didn't have it in me to be all happy and bubbly and talk about whatever clothes I'm coveting at the moment.  Sometimes people think that since I'm sarcastic and "tell it like it is" that I'm not sensitive and things don't upset me.  That couldn't be further from the truth.  I'm like a hard candy with a soft center.  I could stand to be a little tougher and let things roll off my back more often.

Have a great Monday evening and I'll be back tomorrow with something more light hearted to discuss.

p.s. Why do I drink Baby Mama Juice?  Because I think I'm going to attempt my first "training day" tomorrow for the Cooper River Bridge Run.  I went to Try Sports and was evaluated and fitted for the perfect running shoes.  They're ASICS and I love them!  Now, it's time to hit the pavement!


  1. Aw, we are too alike. I share the same sentiments as you about it...and I too am seen as a hard shell, but I definitely have a soft and gooey center, lol. I'm sarcastic and blunt and people take that as woman of steel sometimes. It makes me sad to think of you alone at the park and that you would think no one would want playdates with you and baby girl. I tell you what, this summer, I'll be home with my 3yo and newborn and I'd love to meet up at the park for playdates! xoxo

  2. I completely agree with everything you said. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook and I only keep mine going because if I go back to work again I need the connections. I have found out about 3 of my friends babies via Facebook this year and they are not distant friends-close friends I talk to on the phone, etc. Apparently they thought social media was easier than a text or phone call to their friends!!! Needless to say I was shocked!

  3. whats the saying?" if only your life was as perfect as you make it appear on FB!"

  4. Refreshing! I hate facebook, I avoid it but whenever I do glance at it (if someone tags me) I just feel gross when I pull myself away from the computer. It's not for me.
    And mom's groups-ugh. It's ironic that I met my very best friend in one, but for some reason all the other moms treated me weirdly.
    Good luck with running! Once you run the race you'll be hooked, at least that's how it was with me:)

  5. Once I started blogging I pulled myself away from facebook....only so much time in the day to commit to the computer with 3 littles needing my attention. In the past year I have missed out on quite a bit but also learned who my true friends are... The ones who would contact me with news bc they knew I wouldn't see it on facebook.

    Great post!

  6. I am so over facebook and agree it has made things so impersonal. We live in such a social netowkr driven society! So impressed you are doing the race- that many people on that bridge gives me major anxiety. I do need new shoes heard that place is the best to get fitted!

  7. I agree that Facebook as the only source of communication among people is annoying. If I didn't have out of town family (that aren't the people that I talk to on a regular basis) I wouldn't be on Facebook. I guess it is helpful for my in-laws to see pictures of my little boy (and I don't feel obnoxious e-mailing or texting pictures all of the time). I also found out a friend got engaged via FB and I wanted to barf. I mean, this girl was a bridesmaid in my wedding...ahh!

    Xo, Julia

  8. Facebook is a stalker's paradise and ain't nobody got time to fuel that fire. The ONLY time I truly loved having a Facebook account was when we got married and so many friends shared pictures. The candids they took were priceless, but now I definitely agree that if we're real friends, I'll know about your life anyways (or maybe we're not real friends!).

  9. I feel the same, and frankly, am just a little bored with FB these days. I like twitter so much better because of all the actual content there, and not just people with edited posts on their perfect lives. The thing that most drives me nuts are the ones that are like, "I just love being a parent! Every day is sunshine and rainbows with my children!" that just makes me feel bad about how much mine get on my nerves at times! haha.

  10. Love this post. Facebook hits such a nerve with me at times. The best is when you are "Facebook friends" with someone and when you see them in person they don't even say hello. So bizarre. Good luck with your training. I am horrible runner too. Hate every step of it. I'll walk the bridge with you anytime though!


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